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Techno-speaking…

OMG! Just when we thought we had all of the typical acronyms in the technology business figured out. 

Using techno-speak, acronyms and other, made-up stuff is unfair, don’t you think?   I mean the English language is complicated enough.  Add in txting (which I thought was a universally accepted, misspelled shorthand; but come to find out it’s just me who is misspelling it universally); or SMSSocial Media Shorthand (OK, I made that one up; LOL!); and how can one be expected to communicate clearly today?  

It’s not a new challenge.  David S. Pottruck once told us; 

E-mail and voice-mail have, of course, exacerbated the problem in the last ten years.  Unfortunately, for all their convenience, these innovations have made it much easier to believe we are communicating when we are merely informing; if I have e-mailed you, you know it. This presumption frequently escalates from knowledge to understanding, then to consent, and finally to the delusion of wisdom. 

Ah yes- if I have e-mailed you, you consent.  How many times have we made that erroneous assumption?  Here are a few others. 

BAM – I assumed this was a word (silly me).  You know, like, “I was driving to work and BAM I realized today is our wedding anniversary and I haven’t bought a card or a present for my wife yet.  But no; as it turns out, BAM actually stands for Business Activity Management

And then there’s BOOM, which, again, I thought was a word.  As in, “When my wife realized I had bought her anniversary gift at the 7-11 on my way home from work that night, BOOM, there went the last chance for a “romantic” evening.  But no; as it turns out BOOM actually stands for Business Opportunity Optimization Management. (Who knew?) 

Do you think whoever created these terms ever combined BAM with BOOM?  (Don’t get me started!) 

Is it because the typed word is replacing the spoken word in our business world today?  To type as fast as we talk we created acronyms, short-cuts, and a new, techno-speak language, K?  In a pinch, we resort to voice mail (hoping the other party doesn’t actually answer our call because we’re too busy to converse).  That’s not good: 

Masquerading as a better way to put everyone in touch, e-mail (and voice-mail) have become incessant distractions, a nonstop obligation and a sure source of stress and anxiety.  I expect that a public statement by the Surgeon General is in the offering.

 Seth Shostak  

I also became acquainted with CAO, not to be confused with Ciao, which of course is Italian for both “Hello” and “Goodbye” (nice to see confusion is an international pastime).  CAO refers to the Chief Accelerator Officer.  And if your CAO is Italian, that means he is capable of doing business, as well as saying “Hello” and “Goodbye”, very fast!  

Maybe the thinking behind the creation of these terms originates from those childhood years where every kid received a ribbon – whether they finished first, or last – everyone was “special”.  Is it those same kids, now adults, who have created their own business role with its own acronym?  Is everyone “special” again? 

Call me kooky, but BAM sounds a lot like my manager; I think I spoke to BOOM the other day when I was ordering a pizza and being up-sold extra toppings and side dishes; and this morning I’m with a CAO – there are hundreds of them – they work at Starbucks. 

GAP (oops – my bad!) 

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