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Just for fun…

Thought I’d lighten things up a bit today after writing a few heavy posts recently.  I mean, I know life can be tough; but it also can get better:

Life breaks us.  And when we heal, we’re stronger on the broken parts. 

Ernest Hemingway

My wife and I went on a weekend getaway with our best friends Steve and Jacquie.  Beer; bear country; and besties – we headed out to mend a few of those broken parts.  We didn’t see any bears but the trip reminded me of my favorite sighting:

A bear who, displaying a $5 bill, had entered a bar and ordered a beer and; the owner of the bar directed the bartender to give the bear the beer, saying that since the bear didn’t look very smart to only give it 25 cents in change.

Having done as he had been instructed, and having watched incredulously as the bear placidly sipped the beer, the bartender finally could no longer contain himself and sought to engage the bear in conversation.  “You know”, he said to the bear, “we don’t get many bears in this bar.”  To which the bear is said to have replied, “at $4.75 a beer, it’s no wonder.” 

Norman R. Augustine

Ah that Norman R. Augustine, former head of Martin Marietta Corporation a huge US Government aerospace contractor.  Talk about broken parts!  Norman shared his sense of humor in his book, Augustine’s Laws ©.  Here’s an excerpt courtesy of Wikipedia:

Law Number III: There are no lazy veteran lion hunters.

Law Number XIII: There are many highly successful businesses in the United States. There are also many highly paid executives. The policy is not to intermingle the two.

Law Number XIX: Although most products will soon be too costly to purchase, there will be a thriving market in the sale of books on how to fix them.

Law Number XXXI: The optimum committee has no members.

Law Number XXXVI: The thickness of the proposal required to win a multi-million dollar contract is about one millimeter per million dollars. If all the proposals conforming to this standard were piled on top of each other at the bottom of the Grand Canyon it would probably be a good idea.

Law Number LII: People working in the private sector should try to save money. There remains the possibility that it may someday be valuable again.

I know it’s not fair to poke fun at our government during an election year.  In the 1930’s America’s leading political wit, Will Rogers, couldn’t help himself:

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

If America’s political process doesn’t drive us all nuts, the cost of living certainly can:

It seems that there was a pretzel stand in front of an office building in New York City.  One day a man came out of the building, plunked down a quarter, and then went on his way without taking a pretzel.  This happened every day for three weeks.  Finally, the old lady running the stand spoke up, “Sir, excuse me.  May I have a word with you?”  The fellow answered,I know what you’re going to say.  You’re going to ask me why I give you a quarter every day and don’t take a pretzel.” The woman replied, “Not at all.  I just wanted to tell you that the price is now 35 cents.”

William Schreyer

Grab your besties everyone – let’s head to bear country for a few beers.  I’m buying!

GAP

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